It was the theater I believe. How can that be? I've been to many theatre's before.
Perhaps the movie. Wait a minute, that wasn't my first good movie! I never felt like this after watching movies.
Nothing was much different. There were friends, snacks, and there was good ambience.
So what was that feeling. It was not the first time I felt it. Well I'm not trying to question why I was in that mood, I just want to know about it more, as it was a wonderful feeling.
Let me take you few days before now.
It was Wednesday, and after sleeping late the night before, I woke up, rubbing my eyes, wondering.."Why does the night pass so soon?" "How do you know its so soon, you slept the whole of it" came the quick reply. He was my roomie, who came out, taking his shower, thus making room for me to jump in. It was a leisure activity in Hyderabad. Wake up, yawn, sleep some more, finally step out of bed and brush your teeth, drink few glasses of water, stretch a little, sit on the chair and sleep even more, take a shower, and enjoy the good breakfast-cooked and served FRESH by my wife. Take out my bike and enjoy the ride. Here I do it on fire. Why? Well I've to catch my bus on time. I cook my own breakfast. The only fresh food that I have is Water, straight from the tap. Rest all is either from the refrigerator, or packed in box or tins. So as usual, I woke up late and tried to cover it up by making it fast. I ate my breakfast, and rushed for the bus. Spent the next 45 minutes reading a novel, trying to learn how to make money in the stock market. Then came the train station, called the PATH station of Journal Square, from where I had to take the train to WTC. On my way down towards the station, I twisted my leg on the stairs and after reaching the floor, sat there for almost 10 minutes. The pain was too much, and my left knee would not bear my weight any more. Poor right leg, I thought, you are all alone to take me to office. It would be too much to describe the herculean task of reaching office that day but let my just give a hint. I reached office at 10:30 am instead of 9 that day, that too after taking a cab from WTC to office - a distance that I usually walked over in 15 mins. The feeling was wonderful, something had its effect on me, the movie, the place, the company. I wanted to sit and relish it even more. That was the moment I heard my friend asking me to start moving out of the movie hall. People were leaving and the movie had ended, rolling over the names of actors.
My senses overwhelmed with the feeling, I tried to stand and walk and oh, my knee made me realise of its presence. I had totally forgot I had a knee problem. How could I even forget it, I had braces attached to my left leg, and I have not walked without it since that day.
So there was this strange happiness inside me. Now I remember having felt it everytime I extended my hand to help anyone, whenever I thought good about anyone, whenever I felt happy for anyone. Also whenever I prayed, meditated, even slept.
Can you believe it? Something that makes you forget how and where you are. Tell me how often have you felt it. Life feels good, there are no thoughts left, and the only thing that you feel is nothing. You are not aware how much time passed in this state. And when you again gain your senses, you dont remember what happened, all you can notice is the smile on your face, and a happy heart.
The irony is that it becomes even more mystic when you try to decipher what happened. I tried to think, if there is a way to know about it.
I don't know what lies beneath, but I remember the story of the kid who was trying to empty the ocean by digging a hole in the sands of a beach.He was trying to empty the ocean by bringing water from the shore in a small vessel, and pouring it out in the hole.
They say he was a holy man, and was trying to understand the ultimate truth, when he walked past this small child. He saw the kid for a moment and politely told him, "Son, how can you ever fit the endless ocean into this small hole of yours. All that you add here goes back to the ocean again."
The kid simply replied "How can you ever fit the Universal Truth in such a small mind. All that you want to understand, is also a part of it"
They say the holy man was happier ever after.
So did he understand that it was impossible to understand it. Perhaps he came to realize, that he too, was a part of what he wanted to understand. Or maybe he saw the mirror one day, and realized that the mirror couldnt see itself ever, and gave up the idea. Some people say that he now tried to understand himself, for he felt he kid was correct. He was a part of it too.
I felt like being a part of a movie myself. I was watching the movie. There was a story in the movie. It was based on a real life situation. The actors were people like me.
What if our lives are also a movie, being watched over by someone, eating popcorn, trying to find the cause of the relaxing happy feeling. Its like you watching a movie inside which the actor is watching a movie...
The wonderland goes deep as I move further down... and the happy feeling visits me more often these days. I simply look forward to experience it, more that to know how and why of it. Do you ?